Random Noise- can you feel it yet?

I'm dying. I'm seriously dying here. ok. here goes. There's this guy in my class. His name is Matt and he's on my mind 24/7! I can't think about anything with his name in the same thought stream. It's like I'm obsessing over him, but he likes someone else. I'm serious though. I can't do anything without having one thought like: Hey Matt would love this, or Hey I wish Matt could see this! or something like I wish Matt were here! or like Matt is so awesome. I can't help it.....he's just always there. I'm not joking. My friends always tease me about this, but It's not something I enjoy joking about. My gut always hurts thinking about how he always liked Her instead of me! She's so perfect with him though. I've been told that we would be a cute couple.....but.....he won't be mine because he likes Her. I'm pretty sure She doesn't like him back, but that still doesn't get rid of the fact that he still likes her. Plus, I'm not infatuated with him. It's not like I just like him because he's cute. He TOTALLY gets me. It's like we can read each other's minds and we both like the same things but then again we don't. Like I love Sonata Arctica and he does but I hate Grape FLavoring but It's his favorite. Mine's cherry. He's sweet but he's kind of a bad boy. He has black hair and greenish bluish eyes. Plus he's tall. But that's not all. He's a rock fan, loves techno, is totally random, and has a great sense of humor. He's sweet too. He always compliments me with stuff like You rock or That's awesome. And he always notices what I'm wearing. He compliments my drawings and stuff like that! He's so amazing......is it possible to love someone when I'm so young? No probably not. It doesn't seem like love....but I've never experienced love. One thing is for sure, I can't explain any of this. Ever since the beginning of the school year....I've clicked with him......But does he like me also? There's another guy, and I know he likes me. My mom won't let me date until I'm 16 and he's always bombarding me with stuff like, I'm going out with you when your 16 and all that. It's nice that he likes me and I thought I did.....but I DON'T. I need to tell him that. He's always asking me on dates and stuff. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! It's so heart breaking to watch Matt hitting on other girls and the guy that I don't like that way is trying to get me to go out with me.......it really makes me want to cry.....and nothing feels the same anymore....all I think about is if Matt likes my style of clothing or if he thinks I'm being stupid. I also always wonder if he feels the same and is having the same thoughts. Is he as deep as I am? Is he just shallow? I can't tell anymore......and my stomach hurts so much. All of this is stressing me out so much. I just want the truth. He's always looking at me and smiling or when he does something i love, he looks at me for a compliment or a laugh or smile. Constantly.........I need advice badly......

Hello Cruel and Ugly Heartless World! I hope you're enjoying the ruin of my life. My pc just crapped out on me. For the last time. Losing all my work. Forever. All my art. poems. Fan art. Fan fiction. Photoshoped stuff. EVERYTHING!!!! Music......anime. EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR WAS ON THAT STUPID COMPUTER! Omfg, i'm gonna kill that thing if it isn't dead already. Worse than that I feel like slicing my friend's eyeballs out just because I can. So there. Plus, on top of all this, I have Strep throat, I feel like crap, and these two guys are making me tear my hair out. Ok, one guy's name is Dave and the other's name is Matt. Ok, they both like me. I can't date till I'm 16 which is a pretty crappy rule but my mom would forever burn me at the stake if she found out I did, so I'll just wait. Anyway, I really like Matt, plus I really like Dave. Talk about ah. Anyways, Matt is kind of a bad boy and Dave is a sweety but they both have black hair, which is a major awesomeness. I hate guys with blond hair, no offense. Unless they are REALLY cute. Back to the subject, Matt is in my class but Dave lives in a different town. I had already agreed with Dave that when I was 16 I would date him, but now I really like Matt....so....vuhhh. asorjghidsunh!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRR....I FEEL LIKE KILLING A POOR DEFENSELESS ANIMAL!!!!!!!! T.T ahhhhhh.....I want my computer to work, I want to go out with Matt (I think I like him a little more) and I WANT FRIED CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, by the way, Matt's favorite food is chicken (HUGS). (((((((()))))))) I LURVE MG!!!!! Dave is really awesome.....but I really like Matt A LOT. I know he likes me too. He always gets quiet and sad when I'm not at school for a long time, and he always smiles at me and says hi, he always gives me hi fives and says i rock, he always wants to be in my group for science, he always looks at me and then turns away when i look back. He flirts with me sometimes too. ^.^ So does Dave, but......it's not the same, you know? I feel like he's a close friend, not a boyfriend. Matt, he's a guy, a boyfriend type guy. And so, I think I'll tell Dave this, " Listen, Dave, we don't know if we're even going to be talking to each other when I'm sixteen and your 18. Lets just hold off on plans and see how it goes. If we plan too far ahead, we'll screw up in the end. So lets just be friends for now and see how it goes." Dave is actually my ex too. Matt has liked me since last year too. He always used to ask about me because he was in the other class. He's an awesome guy. He's like, 5'11" I think. REALLY TALL cuz I'm like 5'1" or 5'2". It's funny, I used to sit next to him in homeroom and science and he used to innocently put his knee against mine or our hands would touch or something. He would always make me laugh, too. He always says he likes Breianne though. He always gives her hugs and tells her he likes her.....but he doesn't flirt or do any of the things he does to me, with her. I'm just so confused.

i just had a jolt and i'm now so hyper that it HURTS!!!!!!! anyways i'm typing like a mile a minute and yum!!!!! anyway i just wanted to say that bye!
THOUGHT OF THE DAY: JOOOOOLLLLTTTT!!! IT WAS BLUE!

Hey,if there's anyone in Mt. Ephraim or the surrounding areas that wants to be in my band please comment. My friend and I are making a band called Random Noise. So far I'm sure that it's my band personally. Cuz....i thought of it. Anyway, if you play bass or guitar, that would be great. If your a boy and are around our age, that's cool. Same for a girl. You have to be pretty good. I'm planning on taking drum lessons from my band teacher at school so....really alll we need are bass and guitar so that would be great. It would be cool if you can sing a little cause we need back- up singers too. It's mostly rock music and some of it can be slowish. We are stereotyping ourselves. I'm the rocker/punk and my friend is the prep. We make our own clothes and want to start a style, but...whatever. Just so you know, you're gonna have to make your own clothes and if you don't want to, well, we'll make them for you. You just have to give us a style. We are currently looking goth, grunge, or maybe another rocker. Please....no more preps lol. Well, comment if your interested. And yes, I can sing ok. >.> Not the best in the world, but I can sing. I'm frustrated because it's taking so long to find someone. Believe me, I'm not EVER giving up on this, so if your reading this a long time from now, I'm still sticking with it.

OMG, I'm obsessed with Ozone now. The guys who did Dragostea Din Tei (Numa Numa)! They have the most addictive songs in the world! Dragostea Din Tei, Despre Tine, and many more! Catchy techno music and electrica. They are romanian but who cares? I can sing Dragostea Din Tei (numa numa) in romanian so I'm fine with it. I mean, so what if you can't sing along with it? It fun to dance, listen, and hum to! AHHHH!!!! Must...listen....to .....American.....music!!!! NO!!! My beloved music stop! AGAIN AGAIN!!!! WOO HOO!!! sorry, just spazzed there. Hehehe ^.- I keep getting upset when it stops so I'm putting everything I can get my hands on, onto my mp3 player.
I'm waiting for an Ipod, but I can deal. Well, that's all I had to say. I just had to get that out. Oh! And I'm going camping in the pine barrens tomorrow. I'm going with my two friends. Lauren and Greg. Of course they're are taking their families. I'm going with Lauren's family and Greg's going with his. My family can't come because we've been having a bit of problems with my dad. COUGHbeingacrapheadCOUGH *weeze* what just came over me there? ANyways, I won't be back till.....Monday, so I'll write more then. :0P Ciao Bombina! (see ya baby!) hehehe romainian!

yesh....i'm drunkkk....badlyyy...not. Lol today has been a total drag. All day I either cleaned or did nothing at all. And then I got on the pc not long ago. Yay for me! Lately I've been interested in the legend of the unicorns. Like all people when they are young aka kids, I have been contemplating wether they are real or imaginary. Many people say that the whole unicorn is just a shtick or made up. Well maybe not a shtick...a myth or legend. But it does mention unicorns in the bible. Yet again people refuse to give it thought. They say it's just a metaphor. Well, why would someone compare the lord to a metaphor? It doesn't make sense. So I'm looking into it and writing an essay on it (just for kicks). Yeah I'm bored lately. Haven't told anyone except my neighbor about it. oh well. It's kind of interesting. Once I'm done with the essay, I'll post it. anyway, i need to get going. Oh! I have another good idea for a story! It stars four brothers. Drake: Part dragon, Derek: Human, Doane: Human, and Damek: Part Elf Part Human. Damek is their half-brother and the elves hate him. well i'll write more later. bye!

I made this poem for my friend....it was The Phantom of The Opera inspired so....that's why it exists...cause I watched Phantom of The Opera right before I wrote it. BTW I'm going to write a Fanfiction about SO3 on fanfiction.net....about, you guessed it, TPOTO!!! ALbel will be the Phantom, Nel will be CHristine, and Fayt will be Raoul!!!! YAY! Oh the joy of causing more pain to Albel's ego! Lol...I won't give him a disfigured face...I'll give him a disfigured arm!!! YAY...wait...then that would kill the whole ppurpose of making him wear a mask....I'll just give him the face AND the arm!!! it's genius....when did I get off of the poem track? Oh well here it is....

Midnight Rose

Distinguished rose of midnight hue,
It is thus I give to you.
For crimson red is too cliche,
May you savor it all day.

yes....that is the poem...now BEGONE!

Just writing up a quick one. Not much going on. I started a new story. It's called -0 Tides. I'm not sure of the plot yet, but I have some well thought up characters. I know this sounds corny but oh well. The main character is Dreadnought. He is a Dragon Merman. His girlfriend is Jodine, a normal Mermaid. (He has dragon wings btw) His worst enemy is the Shark Dyad. Two Shark Mermen (brothers) who want to distroy the Mer population. Their names are Flood and Gate (I crack myself up) ya know Floodgate? Lol, my fault for going to the dictionary. Anyways, Dreadnought's friends are Tilla and Duke. Tilla and Duke are going out. There is a loner apart from everyone else though. He doesn't really have his own side. He's just a bystander. I haven't figured his name out but he is an Angel Merman. He has angel wings. Yes, wings underwater. But I was thinking that if you have wings, you need to fly above water. So Dreadnought and the loner can transform their tail fins into legs and go on land (unlike the others). Thus making new friends with humans. The two carry on double lives outside of Oceania Territory (that's were they live underwater) and find themselves in tight spots all the time. Dreadnought and the loner don't know each other and they think each other's lives are two different complete ones, until they find out they BOTH have "alter egos". >.> I'm making half of this stuff up as I go along. lol, that's all I've got, but I need are real plot. Probably something like, Dreadnought and the loner have to team up with each other in order to fight the Shark Dyad, and also keep there human lives in order. Who will crack first? We may never know. lol, we may never know because I'm supposed to be writing a quick one. T.T I rant too much. Well bye.
eragonfan94

I'm upset because I was told that I was going to VA for two weeks in a couple of days. We had everything packed and my room was clean. We were planning what we would do when we got there (we is me and my sister. it was just us)and how we were going to spend our time with our two sisters and their families that live there. So, today we got a phone call from my sister, Kristy. She told my mom all about how she had just gotten a bill in the mail and how she didn't have enough money to come. Lately my parents have been fighting more than usual too, so I was really excited about exscaping from the havoc. But now I'm stuck here in the basement feeling depressed. I just ate a rootbeer float to cheer me up but it didn't work. I just wish for once that I could see my real home again(VA). I can't remember it at all and I miss my sisters terribly. I haven't seen them or their families for two whole years. It just makes me want to scream. My dad was being an ass about it too. He said it wasn't a good idea and he didn't want us to go. Then, to make matters worse, afterwards, he pulled the I told you so act. It didn'tt help a thing and it really made me mad. Like he is all high and mighty and is better than we are. I don't want to unpack my bags because then I know it's really not going to happen. NOw everyone is going to ask why I'm not going to VA and then I'm just gonna get upset again. It's really unfair. DOn't I deserve a vacation from this hell? I hate my house because my dad is constently being mean to my mom. He doesn't act like he cares about us and makes a fuss about his stupid computer all the time. He's always saying we don't have money this, expletive deleted, we don't have money that. Ijust wish that he would shut his mouth. If I could have at least one week in another state with my sisters, it would be a godsend. Literally.
eragonfan94

Hey,
This is my new journal....I'm not going to type a big entry because I'm buisy. I'm just going to say that there will be a lot more entries in the future and I will write about some unexciting stuff. So be forwarned. lol well bye
eragonfan94